You know that scene in “Meet the Parents”, where Robert DeNiro subjects Ben Stiller to a lie detector test? Have you ever wished you had that capability? We all hate being lied to, and we all wish there was an easy way to determine lies from the truth. Well, there are some “natural” lie detectors that you can employ to help you filter fact from fiction. With a healthy dose of observation, and a little bit of practice, you can be DeNiro-like (without the bulky equipment, of course) in no time.
First, look the person right in the eyes. This is a good practice whether you suspect him of lying or not, but its even more important when you are trying to determine the degree of truth in someone’s words. Pay particular attention to where he is looking. If he fails to make consistent eye contact with you, that may be a sign that he is feeling uneasy and is looking for an escape route.
The direction that he is looking is a wonderful little sign to take note of. If you know the person is right-handed, and his eyes seem to look to his left more than to his right, you may have a liar on your hands. (Reverse this if he is left-handed). In general, a right-handed person looks to the left when they are accessing the creative portions of the brain, while they look to the right when accessing the memory portions. So if your suspect is gazing to the left during your conversation, he might very well be making up a story right in front of your face.
The final clue that his eyes will give you has to do with the amount of blinking he does. If his blinking frequency has increased noticeably, that’s a bad sign (assuming, of course, that you don’t want him to be lying; if you do want him to be lying, I can’t help you).
If you can’t get a good determination from his eyes, take a look at his hands. If he is using mostly aggressive gestures, such as pointing or making a fist, he might be lying. An honest person is much more likely to touch his chest with an open hand, or reach toward you with an open hand, which is more welcoming and far less defensive.
Another thing he may do with his arms that would indicate a possible lie is to cross them. As with aggressive gestures, this is a defensive act, and someone who is lying is apt to be on the defensive. Along those lines, a telltale sign of a liar is when he tries to turn the tables on you. If he accuses you of lying, or changes the subject (especially if he mentions a mistake or lie you made in the past) then he is trying to deflect the situation back on to you. He is projecting his guilt on you in a last-ditch effort to defend himself.
As you have probably noticed, the key to catching a liar is in his non-verbal communication. Obviously, if he attacks you verbally, you can be sure he is hiding something. But most people will be much more subtle when they are covering something up. So watch those eyes, and those hands, and take note of everything. It’s usually a combination of things that will give you the truth.
Sometimes, however, you just have to trust your gut.
Craig Withers (the liberal)
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